Healing Without Apologies & Finding Closure Within Ourselves

Have you ever wondered if you truly need an apology from the person who hurt you? It's a question that often lingers in our minds after we've experienced pain at the hands of someone we trusted. We yearn for those three simple words: "I hurt you." "I'm sorry." And perhaps even more so, "I feel awful that I did it." But do we actually need these words to find closure and heal?

The desire for an apology is only natural. When someone has caused us pain, we long for them to acknowledge the hurt they've inflicted. We want them to understand the depth of our suffering and take responsibility for their actions. It's as if we believe that this acknowledgment will magically erase our pain, granting us instant relief.

However, the truth is far more complex. While receiving an apology can be a beautiful and validating experience, it isn't always necessary for our healing journey. The pain we feel is real, and we don't need anyone's permission to acknowledge it. We were there; we lived through it, and we felt every ounce of that pain. It's ours to own, to process, and to heal from.

Waiting for an apology can be a double-edged sword. First, it places the power to heal in someone else's hands. We become dependent on their willingness to apologize, and if it never comes, we may remain trapped in a cycle of pain and resentment. Secondly, even if the apology does arrive, it doesn't automatically erase the suffering we endured. Healing isn't a one-size-fits-all solution; it's a deeply personal and internal process that takes time, effort, and self-compassion.

So, why do we still yearn for those words? It's because we mistakenly believe that external validation is the key to our own inner peace. We think that hearing those apologies will make us feel whole again. But in reality, true healing comes from within. It's about acknowledging our pain, giving ourselves permission to feel it, and taking the necessary steps to move forward.

We don't need someone else to validate our feelings or grant us closure. We have the power to grant ourselves closure by accepting that the pain was real, and it hurt deeply. By allowing ourselves to feel the pain without judgment, we begin the process of healing. It's a journey that may involve therapy, self-reflection, forgiveness (whether or not the other person apologizes), and a commitment to moving forward with our lives.

The truth is, that closure isn't something we receive from others; it's something we create within ourselves. It's about finding peace and acceptance within our own hearts, regardless of whether or not the person who hurt us ever acknowledges their actions. By embracing this perspective, we free ourselves from the shackles of waiting for an apology that may never come and take charge of our own healing.

While it's beautiful to hear those powerful words, "I'm sorry," we must remember that we don't necessarily need them to heal. The pain we experienced was real, and we have every right to feel it without seeking external validation. True closure and healing come from within, and it's a journey we can embark on independently. So, don't wait for an apology to start healing; your path to recovery begins with acknowledging your own pain and granting yourself permission to heal.